can we stay here? maybe i don’t want to know you too well. i want to float, just let my heart flutter in this safety no expectations, no pressure let me keep dreaming of your mouth mumbling lovely compliments moving … Continue reading
may5
Today I just want to feel nothing and be nothing and just disappear because yeah love is more than worth it but there isn’t any. It was gone with you, and I haven’t seen it since, and that’s the fucking truth.
I’m talking about real, infinite, sure love. As sure as my eyes were locked on you walking across the stage floor to the piano, as sure as my heart was flying the first time we spoke, as sure as our first kiss laughing in my bed, as sure as your voice when you stated, “I am in love with you,” on a city bus loud enough for passengers around us to hear.
I am a flower
with too many bees
wishing to be pulled from my roots.
I am a field
with too many trees
crowding on me with their boots.
I am a fruit
with too many seeds
but my skin is shiny and smooth.
I am a friend
to all enemies;
afraid to ask them to move.
I love you, and you know.
But my desire to hate you
is almost as heavy as my desire to be yours.
Why are you torturing me like this?
I did it.
I convinced you that we’re innocent
that we’re “good”
that I’m Okay.
I spoke to you with only pity in my eyes
to shield my own pain
I did it.
I stopped torturing myself
at least Temporarily.
last night I did not cry.
what does it mean
if you really Believe me?
myskittishramblings 