I really struggle with the notion that long term, monogamous love is a social construct. In a sense, I’ve been right about love not being real. But I desperately wish it was.
To expect that someone’s feelings for you will never change is completely absurd. ‘Love’ becomes just a habit, a chore, and resentment from living your life in a way that is only half yours. I have heard many times that couples have sex less and less the longer they are together. There’s a reason why most marriages aren’t successful — marriage itself is likely against our nature.
From what I understand, love turns into a mix of comfort and fear. This person knows you, and you are used to them, but they do or say things that bother you every single day. They drive you crazy, but they’ve been around for a while. It doesn’t matter if you never do anything fun together anymore, or that your days are all exactly the same, or that your in-laws make you want to spoon your eyes out, or that you haven’t had decent sex in months, or years. You aren’t being abused or anything, so there is no reason to leave. You’ve made this routine life and now you’re afraid of finding out what life is like without them. But that doesn’t mean you love them. You care about them, but that doesn’t mean you love them. What is the reason to stay?
Romantic love is temporary. I can’t see it another way, and it is so depressing.
Please change my mind. I want to understand.
myskittishramblings 