one more time

I never stopped thinking about you, and time hasn’t been healing me. I just keep craving you more. I didn’t care that I have a boyfriend now. I’m leaving for a year and who knows if I’ll even be back here. I had to text you. I had to see you, at least one more time.

I guess part of me was hoping that seeing you face-to-face would help me dismiss my feelings and move on. I don’t think that’s what happened. It might have happened if you didn’t tell me you still felt something for me. If you didn’t tell me the real reason you wanted to end things. It wasn’t because you “don’t feel the same way”. I was your first real girlfriend and you wanted to have other experiences before you got serious with someone, and I understand that. But how dare you say you aren’t good enough? You are everything. You are loyal and brilliant and you can make anyone laugh. You are handsome and easygoing and empathetic and logical. You think I’m so cheesy, and I am. But I love you. And I’m so glad I told you that I love you, one more time. I don’t regret it, regardless of where I am in my life. I love you, and that is fact, and that is brave, and that is me.