Some shitty adult things made me break down and cry last night. Then I fell asleep and dreamt of you again in my boyfriend’s bed.
A small group of my friends brought me to your house. I didn’t know where we were going. Somehow they didn’t know anything about us even knowing each other. Just unfortunate mutual friends. I was shocked to see you, but I kept my cool as best I could. I had no idea how to act around you. I just tried to keep them oblivious.
I didn’t want to yell at you or hit you or even ignore you. I don’t remember talking to you much there. I do remember that your house was also your fiance’s house, but she wasn’t home. It’s almost like you knew I was coming. I bet you did. You suspiciously glanced over at me once in a while, just like you used to in a room of people. I guess you can only dream of someone how you knew them to be. You would probably look and act much differently now.
After my friends and I went home, I spent time looking for your social media profiles. I don’t know why I’d want to further torture myself, but that’s what I did. I’m not sure if my awake, real life self would do that. I haven’t in a long time, and we’ve had each other blocked on everything for years. Sometimes it feels like you aren’t even real, like you just vanished into thin air. Maybe I want to keep it that way.
I woke up today with very puffy eyes.
myskittishramblings 